Sunday, January 24, 2010

okie... i am not getting my iphone today... i am getting it next week... sian...

i need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get a life...

falling in love with this song... kind of describe my life now...

黄靖伦 - 咸鱼

天刚亮 雨滴落房间
的窗 我像咸鱼躺床上
一天接着一天 我连呼吸都厌倦

忽然发现 早已忘记对
这世界该有什么感觉
(连悲伤都不会)

忽然警觉 这个世界少了我也没有差别
(我想我需要点改变)

起了床 今天眼神不
一样 抛弃咸鱼的目光
背包充满能量 帆布鞋陪我去闯

忽然发现早已忘记对
这世界该有什么感觉

(连悲伤都不会)

忽然警觉这个世界少了我也没有差别

(我想我需要点改变)

忽然发现换了一面看
这世界就会找到特别
(就算翻身很累)

咸鱼翻身那天我会记
住你的笑脸当做纪念

(我期待你害怕这天)

就算雨会淋湿身体 (会淋湿
身体) 拒当快晒乾的咸鱼

忽然发现早已忘记对
这世界该有什么感觉

(连悲伤都不会)

忽然警觉这个世界少了我也没有差别

(我想我需要点改变)

忽然发现换了一面看
这世界就会找到特别
(就算翻身很累)

咸鱼翻身那天我会记
住你的笑脸当做纪念

(我期待你害怕这天)

我的人生自己决定

Moonlight Shone On...4:52 PM

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我想成为国王的贴身情人。。。! I saw Show's page that he is actually conducting a contest for ppl to earn 7 hours by his side...i really feel like doing it... haha... thought i know that the contest does not applys for overseas fans... haha...

yesterday i bought my first sports shoes! addidas! hehe... ths 80 dollars only! and its half a present from my sister... hehe... cos she paid half for it! lalala... i can go run outside le! i used to run with my primary school sneakers from hush puppies... it last me to long! but then its not the right shoes to wear for running! and i am glad that i finally own the right shoes for running! but that took me some effort... cos i went novena and then taka, lucky plaza, centerpoint, and then somerset 313 before i bought the shoes! cos all no size if not too expensive... hehe...

then wanted to buy my iphone yesterday... but BUT my cute mama forgot to bring her IC... which means CANNOT BUY... i went all the way to amk and i RUSH DOWN but ended up not buying it cos she forgots to bring her IC... hai... so sian lo... i didn't blame her cos old ppl tend to forget to bring things... and its MY FAULT FOR NOT REMINDING HER... hai... ya... if u all wondering why i need her ic to be there... its simply because my line is still under her name... i wan to transfer ownership... hai... hopes i can get the phone today... but i very nuan to go out and i have not start on my report. new phone needs lots of time to personalize and play... which i doubt that i will have that tonight...

so should i go and buy later? i wan to spend time to explore my new phone... perhaps i should jus do it next week... hai... see how ba...after yesterday... i got a bit cold hearted...

this week should be an exciting week... there are so many activites on going... first is tml... my long distance cousin wedding... hehe.. although i dun really know him... but i think its good to have something like this... like a happy event to be on, esp when my life needs something happy to cheer me up... i shall dress up for it... and hopefully my week will kick off with a wonderful start... thursday i am on leave... going to see doctor and i am sooooooooo glad that i can stay away from work... lol... but most properly i will end up staying at home rushing to finish my report.

friday i am going to ah mei's concert! haha... i am so going to k my heart off that day! i really hopes that i can hang on till then... shiling jia you!

Moonlight Shone On...12:03 PM

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Sunday, January 17, 2010

the thing i hate abt work is tt sometimes i need to bring work home... sunday is suppose to be a rest day at home... away from work... work needs to be separate from home... this is to ensure there is work - LIFE balance... but this is the N time i brought work home... why? why am i putting up with this type of shit...

let me see if there is anything i can at least look forward to in life... 1. ah mi te concert at the end of the month. 2. chinese new year 3. bkk trip in march 4. twn trip in may 5. to quit my job after trip. okie... that is something i should look forward to... but why do i feel so sian? hai...

i think i know why... cos i got a report due before everything else starts... its a killer... work sucks big time... pls, let me have the strength to carry on...

Moonlight Shone On...3:56 PM

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Friday, January 15, 2010

i jus recieve the welcome package from world vision... i am so excited! my xiao long likes marble and his favourite subject is PE! hehe... but this kinda got me confused... i dun know what i can give his as a gift! haha... i have a few ideas in mind... a air blown ball, a cap and maybe a socks? haha... not very sure why but i always love the idea of giving him socks!

and i wan to get his sister a pink pink hair cliP! hehe... n i start to think wat i should write to him... hehe... can't wait to recieve his first letter! i wanted to tell mama abt him... but before i start sponsoring him, she already disagree... and i didn't get her approval when i spoonsored him... wanted to give her see the picture of him... tell her about him... share our love to him... but the first thing tt comes from her was... do u know how much u need to pay etc?! i felt so disappointed with her... and so discourage by her.... as much as i hate my job... i do not wan to bring this hate to anywhere else...

i wan to be happy... for once... i smile after i saw the letter from them... i smile after i saw his description... all i though of was what else i can give them... but why is my mama reaction so extreme? i know her worries... as much as i hate my job... i won't quit... as much as i feel like quiting, i won't... at least... i promise tt i will make sure tt i find a new job before i go ahead and quit my current job... why is she so... disappointing?

Moonlight Shone On...9:25 PM

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

i am on mc today... planned to start writing my report... but now i have nothing on hand to start writing. and i feel like slacking... and i started looking for jobs... lol... jus now went to see doctor n then went somerset to buy medicine...

on the way i travel... i really like the off peak feel... the road is clear, the bus is empty, the shops are now crowded... its soooooooo nice and peaceful! how i wish to be carefree... hai...

okie... enough of my complains... time to start writing...

Moonlight Shone On...1:14 PM

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Sunday, January 10, 2010

okie... i am glad that its weekend again.. though it is ending in about 24 hours time... i think i really need the weekend cos i am not sure if i could hang on for one more day... felt better now and my protective layers are up... or rather i get irritated easily and being super sensitive... like things like a comment or jus a line from someone can picks up my anger... i hope this will go away as its not good to be so sensitive...

jus like today... a sentence from my sis and cha going off jus makes my blood boils... but when i cool down... its actually isn't such a big deal.... hai...

anyway... its about time i start writing about my 2010 resolution... lol. yesh i know... its like 2nd week of the year already... i am soooo late.. haha 2009 wasn't perfect... i started off jobless and only start my contract job in march (i think so). life in HP was good at start but bad when it ends... but overall... i only remembers the good parts... haha...

not sure if i should feel thankful that i found a job right after my contract ends with hp... cos the current jobs is giving alot of stress and i feel really unhappy working there.... my colleagues are alright (better than HP), but i dun like my job, i dun like my boss. all i like is the money and my colleagues. other than that, nothing else. fullstops. that is all. okie... enough of my complains and stop dwelling on it. 2009 i graduated, took my graduated photo with my uni friends... a group of ppl whom i won't forget.... thanks peeps for bearing with me for 2 years :)

i almost went overseas... meaning i almost took a flight to korea with mei. and in the end... the furthers i travel out of singapore in 2009 is to jb... really regretted not being able to go korea. i like travelling with qi to jb... its like freedom... i longed freedom...

towards the end of 2009, i spend alot... i learn to shop. haha.. updated my wardrobe and still think its not enough. actually, 2009 i spend alot... alot on my face.. which ended up getting worest. i really hope tt doctor Ong works... i wish to be pretty for chinese new year... and because of this problem, a camwhoie like me... took very little photos in 2009... and i love to remember my outing with photos... and basically its like 2009, i have disappear for a while...

okie... enough of 2009... what am i expecting of 2010...

first. this year my resolution will not include to find a boyfriend... lol... cos my first matchmaking was disaster. but i am not afraid or discourage on meeting new people. BUT, after all the disappointment for the past few years... i decided not to set a target... if it comes, it will come. if its meant to be that i will be alone for the rest of my life... i will jus take it. after all, i got my jiang long :) (my sponsored child which kind of one of fulfill one of my childhood dreams). so yup... no more thoughts abt it... (in case ming, jason they all laugh at me again... lol)

second. i want to change my perception in life... there are alot of things i need to learn, to be happy with what i have, to make decision, to learn to let go, to learn to control, to learn to love and dun ask for more and many more... due to the rough start in 2010... i decided that i wan to be happy... that is my 2nd resolution in 2010... i wan to do the things i like, i wan to have freedom, i want to feel appreaciated, i want to feel good. i wan to be happy.

thrid. i want to be healthy. haha... i started exercising REGULARlY towards the end of 2009. so i want to continue this and works towards the goal of slimming down... by exercise and reducing abit of food... haha... eatting has always been my favourite and will always be my favourite activity. and i feel happy to eat... so i won't stop eating... lol.. jus tt i will reduce intakes of food tt are high in fats n carbo... haha...

okie... i think that is about all ba... 3 is enough ba... i think i might have more but not stating the rest down... haha... oh... i forgot my job...

i know this is not i wanted... initally i planned to stay for a year... but i dun think i can make it... then i changed and target to stay till june/july. but its driving me crazy.. so i decide to let fate decide my stay... as u all know my taiwan trip has been postphone for so many years... and this year no matter what i will go... so i will apply for leave... 3 months in advance. if they dun approve, i send in my resignation and resign in May. if they approve, i will push back everything to June. hope that it gets as easy as what i wrote... hopes that i can still hang on till then... ( i am still waiting for the air force phone call).

decided on the time line, next i will need to discover me. i need to get to know more abt me, what i like, wat i want and waht i need. then i need to start loving myself. haha... sounds weird? but truelly, i myself dun know what i wan in life. and its abt time i start thinking abt it. (which makes me, myself a late start if u compare me with others...)

okie... i should sleep le... eyes getting heavy... tml going k with jovi... hopes can release stress which i didn't get to release much today due to the short shopping time... night everyone!

Moonlight Shone On...1:36 AM

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Friday, January 08, 2010

i reached my max yesterday... cried myself to sleep last night... i really dun know if i can hang on till may or june... some more hearing e news tt she is quitting in feb kind of discourage me staying any further...

i really dun feel like going to work today... i dun feel like going to work anymore... at this rate... i scared tt i'll enter depression soon... i tried thinking positive, but its useless... the impact is too strong... n whenever i think of work i get teary... hai...

Moonlight Shone On...7:51 AM

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Monday, January 04, 2010

Morning! today is the first day of work for 2010... i was hoping for a change... i planned for a change actually... a change in perception tt it will be a better day and not to drag myself to work... BUT the post holiday syndrome + good weather to sleep = SUPER MONDAY BLUES! can't help it but feeling blues~~~

previously i saw the news and it says that blues are suppose to be short term... and if its get long term... meaning that i could be under going depression... i jus hope that this is not the case... keep a open heart and an open mind... things will be better ling!

today my in-charge is not around... i felt quite happy... but boss came in super early today... dun like to see her back... and i think its because of this tt i am feeling quite nervous... things will b better ling... and i have to keep telling myself tt i should not be thinking from the negative side... positive positive POSITIVE!

I enjoyed my new year countdown very much! spend it with gina, ming, jason and teng... i was really glad that we meet up and a good kick off for 2010 is quite important to me... cos i wan my this year to be better... its time i start knowing myself better and prepare for the challenges i will be facing this year...

gtg... boss in office makes me feels uneasy and i am feeling rather sleepy now... die...

Moonlight Shone On...9:36 AM

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